I wish my friends understood that I love them more than most of my family.

That could be because my family is batshit crazy..or more likely because my friends are the motherfucking best.

They aren’t perfect, which is just fine because I’m pretty flawed myself.

I love them.

That being said.. I should let you know that Bethy and I are “fighting” right now.

It’s really breaking my heart.

She says that I didn’t do shit for our trip.

I can’t say she’s wrong.. However, she wanted me to ask questions (like service desk people for directions) but I didn’t know the questions to ask.

I was in a completely new place, as we all were, and I was really nervous. I told them all that from the start.

Usually, I have no problem going up to strangers to ask about things, but I froze up.

There was definitely a lack of communication. 

I felt bad but she reassured me that is was okay. I told her thank you multiple times because the trip was well planned out and I did think everyone was having a good time…

Unfortunately, she didn’t tell me she was annoyed until three days after we got back.

During the time in between, I’m sure she talked about it with her (very unfriendly) boyfriend. (Who, btw, talked to me like I was a fucking idiot and she didn’t say anything.)

I also wished my friends knew that sometimes when I’m self-absorbed I really need someone to call me out on shit..kindly of course.

I really get stuck in my head sometimes. Usually when there’s a lot going on.

These last couple months have been particularly bad..with my parents’ separation..not that they were amazing before that.

It’s really easy to let the bad things in life consume you.

Since I’ve moved into this apartment with my mom, everything seems lighter.

I saw Bryan today..again. I saw him a couple nights ago while I was with Briar at Arby’s.

He was with his new (freshly graduated) (from high school) girlfriend each times.

My stomach drops and I’m filled with rage.

I wish I could tell him that I fucking hate him without telling him that I fucking hate him.

I made him think that he gave me a std. Evil I know.. but he’s a fucking prick.

I’m clean as a whistle. I guess I’ll let him know before I leave for Knox that he didn’t give me anything.

I dislike that certain times of year remind me of certain people.

Right now, summer reminds me of Minke.

Minke used to be one of my best friends, until I discovered how incredibly fake she is.

Literally changes with the scenery.

I have a terrible judgement of people.

Anywho, when we were besties, I basically lived at her house during the summer.

I remember walking to Taco Bell or Liberty school, going to midnight showings, and getting drunk and poking smot.

I’m sure someday this season will remind of a different person I’ve grown apart from.

While on our trip, we came across a mall (across the street from our hotel) that had every store imaginable in it.

You’ll be proud to know I behaved. I didn’t even go into the Forever 21. I did however go into the h&m for the first time ever.

I don’t what people are talking about, h&m isn’t that expensive.

I bought a black pencil skirt (on my list of things)(..hooray for me to sticking to the list…somewhat) at around $18. I say that’s a good deal.

I also bought a Black Keys shirt. It’s pretty BA.

Travis is planning to pick me up later Thursday (after Charlotte’s with Briar of course) on his own gas money!

He’s really trying to put an effort in :p

Now if only he could cage his roommate while I was there..

Raven I hope this post outlasted your poop :p

,Brit-Marie

oliphillips:

Bush

by Banksy

I’m so fucking tired.

My feet have hurt for days.

Today is Iggy’s birthday and I wouldn’t have known if it wasn’t for Facebook.

I suck at remembering birthdays. I suck at being a friend too.

I don’t know what to do about Travis. He’s a good bf, but sooo lazy. He doesn’t have a job. So, if I want to see him, I have to pay for gas. If I want to eat while I’m there, I have to pay for his and my meals.

He has no motivation to get a job and I’m sick of feeling like his mom rather than his girlfriend.

I’m definitely getting less than I give. And I’m definitely getting less than I deserve. Buttttt… I don’t know if I should just put up with it for the summer or call it a day.

And no it is not because I’m afraid to be alone. This relationship was suppose to be just fun, good summer fun.

I suppose now that it’s turned into more of a task it’s no fun.

Our Six Flags trip was a lot of fun, but to be honest he annoyed the crap out of me.

Like I said, he is super lazy. Bethy’s boyfriend had to take initiative to do things that he should have stepped up and just did. (not sexual things you pervs)

I knew that if Travis came with us, I would be paying his way and for his food.

I wanted him there. He did work for his dad and got $50 before he left. So I didn’t have to pay for as much as I thought.

The last day, when we were traveling back to our first train, I gave him money to get food from Panda Express because I wanted to try this yummy cajun food.

He gave me the change and receipt. His fucking meal cost more than mine. Given Panda Express is pricey, but he paid extra for something new they had. Paid extra for something with my money.

I was infuriated.

It’s like he feels entitled to my money.

It bothers me how easily he can spend my shit.

The more I talk about it, the more I know what this is coming to..

What should I do?

I just want to cry.

So tired. I miss sleep.

I took a four hour nap after work. It did almost nothing to make me feel better.

Two more days of work then Chi-town and rolly coasties. 

About the ModCloth dress… I guess I’ll pass on it *sad face*

In August, I’m sure there will be tons of stuff I’ll want to buy for school. I need to stop spending money on things.

I need to stop torturing myself by looking at Forever 21 and ModCloth..

I only have 5-7 paychecks left before Knox (Depending on when I put in my two weeks)

On minimum wage, that isn’t a lot of money.

I have stuff I need to save for.

I wonder if my dad will pay for my summer class so I can get stuff for Knox.

I have a list of things that I would like to add to my wardrobe this fall. I’ll just keep it and then stick to it when I go shopping in the fall.

I hate summer clothes for the most part.

I love layers and earthy colors in the fall.

I love all the options.

In the summer, the only option is one that avoids swoob (boob sweat)..oh and feeling fat and unattractive.

It’s only May and I’m already tired of the heat.

I emailed Sarah (Knox adviser) about what I should bring. She emailed me back, but the link she sent me to the list of “What to Bring” didn’t work.

I’m pumped about these rolly coasties. It’s been too long. Kind of scared but all I get past that shit.

Mangoes

,Brit-Marie

mmmf

It’s every girl’s internal struggle:

Should I buy this really adorable dress from ModCloth or be a responsible adult with my money?

Let’s weigh this out.

Pros: This dress is freaking adorbs. It’s in a print you almost never see. It’s in a 1950’s t-shirt dress silhouette. It’s in my size. It’s main colors are red and mustard; my best colors. I’m sure I can wear it all year long, with layering of course in the colder months. 

Cons: The price. The face that I’ve only purchased one other dress from ModCloth and it didn’t fit me (too big..for once!) I have a trip to pay for, along with things for Knox this fall. However, I’ve been getting good hours at work.

I’ll have to mull this over some more later.

Anywho.

Bethy and myself are preparing for a trip to Chicago. We’re planning on going to Six Flags. We have the park tickets, train tickets, and hotel rooms already purchased.

Oh yeah, those guys we have sex with sometimes are going too.

I’m super excited but nervous all at the same time.. Big cities scare me.

It’s way too early to writing but I woke up to take my brother to school and I just can’t fall asleep.

I tried on my two piece swimsuit from last year. The top is too small. So pissed. I got to wear it maybe five times. I think I might salvage the bottoms by buying a solid color top. I like the mix&matchy swimsuit look.

There are always an assload of things I want to talk about on here, but I never feel like it when I get on.

I stayed the night at Travis’ Monday through Wednesday. It was pretty nice. I always enjoy seeing him of course but his roommate…ugh

I feel like we are competing..and I’m not even sure for what.

She isn’t interested in Travis like that.

I think she can’t handle another girl getting attention.

She’ll talk about her vagina or tits to get attention.. Which of course is fucking annoying. She also will just change in front of me and Travis.

I’m pretty sure she’s a stripper, not for the money, but for the attention.

Not to mention, she’s fucking awful.

She’s pregnant for the second time this year. She aborted the first one, which is her choice, but she got pregnant again like a dumbass.

Girls who use abortion as birth control should be shot.

Also, she cheated on her long term/long distance boyfriend at the time with several guys. Got and gave him chlamydia. Oh and the first time (who knows if it was the first time) she got pregnant, it was Travis’ friend’s baby. And she was still with the other guy. 

This would be a bad post for Travis to read. He can’t stand her most of the time either though.

I’m super hungry. I wish my mom would buy food. She leaves for work and my brother and I have to settle for roman noodles.

I guess that’s it…

,Brit-Maire

When getting into a car with more than one person, I always try to sit down at the same time as another person. I don’t want to make the car move like a fatass..all by myself.

I just finished my last tests for the semester. All I have to do is show up for music to “perform” our group project.

I got a B in Calculus for the semester. So happy. As you might remember, I was super nervous about failing that class. I wonder how shocked my 8th grade self would be that I got a B in college Calculus…

I recently “discovered” a band called Alabama Shakes. They are amazeballs. The lead singer’s name is Brittany. Calm your tits, that’s not the reason I got into them. I wasn’t even aware of this until I was listening to a song and she said “Come on Brittany, you got to come on up!”

wellthatsadorable:

CUUUUUTE giggly baby in a bath playing keep away with a CUUUUTE daschund and laughing like crazy in the CUUUUTEST way. Oh, my heart! Oh, my uterus! I’ll take one puppy and one giggly baby, please.

It is sad when people grow apart.. I should know. But it really is just a part of life. You cannot expect others or yourself to remain the same forever. If they are suppose to be in your life or you in theirs, it’ll work out in the end.